DEAR DIARY
5:35 PM
A frail little child sits despondently on the swing. Rocking herself gently back and forth, head hanging low, short unkempt hair shrouding her face from the rest of the world. She stares at the sand beneath her converse-clad feet unseeingly, as the dull autumn leaves fall gently around her.
A single drop of cold on the back of her hand wakes her from her dazed stupor. As she looks up, freezing drops of rain fall one by one onto her cheeks. Her cheeks, once rosy, now as pale as death. She slowly rolls her eyes back and lets her heavy eyelids close, relishing the sensation of ice on her bare skin. She lets out a sigh. One of relief, or resignation she herself knows not. The tempest in her mind finally clears and she focuses only on the rain. She feels each distinct drop on her soft skin as the low wind tenderly caresses her face, just as he always would while he tucked her unruly hair behind her ears and stared into her eyes.
She pulls away sharply from the thought and throws it into the Pandora's box of her mind. Not now, she thinks. She wants to have a moment away from it all. Just soaking up the atmosphere. And soak she does, as Mother Nature becomes more relentless.
Soon, sheets of ice-cold water fall upon her tiny frame as she shakes and quivers under their weight. The stinging chill, the brute force of the rain, the terrifying din of the thunder, the smell of rain and fresh earth intertwined, the pitter-patter on the hard concrete ground, the glow behind her eyelids as lighting dances across the darkened sky. Her senses are awakened. She feels alive, for the first time in forever. The lonely, abandoned girl, has become one with the rain. She sits there, unthinking, as seconds stretch into minutes.
Suddenly, a wry bemused smile plays upon her face as she tastes the salt on her chapped lips. No one will ever know, she muses. Another sigh. This time undoubtedly of resignation. If only time could just freeze; capture this perfect moment in its entirety for all eternity. Nothing lasts forever though, and she knows that. She'll have to go back. Back into the pain-riddled drama her life has become. She'll worry about it later though. I'm not going to waste away this precious moment thinking about the inevitable, she rightly decides. The only opportunity for absolute calm and solitude in this mad world. What a queer sight, she concludes, imagining herself a third person looking in onto her life at this very instant. A queer sight indeed.
It feels like hours before the torrential rain finally subsides to a light drizzle. Suddenly awakened from her hypnotic state, her eyes flutter open and her hearts sinks as she realises her time is up. The calm and tranquil so effortlessly shattered. Oh take me away, she pleads half-heartedly, a sarcastic smile upon her lips for she knows full well the torture and agony that will ensue her return to reality.
Reluctantly, she lifts herself off the old black tire and struggles to balance herself, her entire body numb. She begrudgingly trudges back up the way she came, fighting with herself not to look back, knowing it would only make her strong facade that much harder to keep up. She knows she'd give in though and does exactly that. Turning around, she looks back one last time at the swing that gently rocks in the cool breeze. She'd forever remember this rare autumn rain.
♥nan
